It was in the evening of 4th June 2007 when I went for my usual monthly medical check up at Darul Ehsan medical Cetre which is located just down the road from our house. Dr. Norleen who was my gynea told me that I had an opening of 1cm...I was really excited off course! my preganancy was getting really heavy that I had to stop for a rest every 5 minutes! The long awaited time is almost here! Anyway, since I was not in pain, she told me to go home first and come back on the next day at 10am...and so we did. I got most of the things prepared. My little suitcase filled with my clothes and tiny baby wear in the car. So I just had to go home and rest, and wait for the time to come. Patiently. Though my patience were really thinning out, I just had to hang in there!
At 10 o'clock sharp the next morning, we were already at the hospital...my opening was still at 1cm, but I just cannot go home again now...I just didn't have the energy to anymore...,and to come back to the hospital again...was really taxing me...so I opted to check in and waited there. Furthermore, it's not going to be that long now. My baby is coming out today and I just can't wait! I had a mild contraction last night, though it wasn't regular, the sharp squeezing pain was there. Dr. Norleen asked me whether I wanted a little bit of help to increase the dilatation faster and I definitely agreed! She inserted a tablet into my vagina and told me to rest. An hour later, my first real contraction was felt...a constant sharp protruding squeezing pain like if we had a severe stomach upset! I was beginning to cry then. Nizam was sitting next to me...,but I was the one who felt everything. I knew he was trying to reach out to me, as if he wanted to share the pain with me..,but couldn't. At 2pm, my cervical opening was 4cm, and I was already practically exhausted from being in tears! Dr. Norleen came in and hugged me, trying to calm me down. The nurses were less sympathetic..."macamana kamu nak 'push' jap lagi nie, baru 4cm pun dah nangis macam nie...nanti kamu penat..,takder tenaga..bla bla bla..." Ok, like I was making up the pain. Everyone has got their own threshold alright, and mine is not so high...it is not like I had a choice about that!
At 5pm, i was really loosing my patience. "Potong! Potong!" I was screaming! "Now, let's not talk about that ok. Why don't you try and take the epidural and you will feel very comfortable..?" Dr. Norleen was suggesting softly. I thought...,every thing is a risk..,any choice is a risk, so why don't I?! "OK" I agreed. I was wheeled out from the waiting room into the operation theater then. At 6pm, I had my epidural and was smiling after that! The anesthetist was amused looking at me off course! Initially I was asking him, "...would it hurt?" (we are talking about hitting the needle into the my spinal cord ok)...and he replied, "controlling pain is my job, other doctors will give you pain, but I help you to eliminate that." He sounded so confident, so I was rest assured. I sat by the side of the bed, with my legs hanging down and my body leaning forward hugging Nizam as instructed. As soon as the procedure was finished, I lied down to rest. Suddenly it felt like everything was normal...I was not in pain at all..my tears dried, and I was able to smile!
At the same time, a stern looking midwife came in to do the preparation...She got me ready for the delivery, knicked the waterbag, and took the baby's heart beat. Her face didn't look good though. "Why?" I asked. "Jantung baby bunyi tak sedap.." She answered. Great! Such a positive encouragement she's giving! Look! What does she know alright?!!! I tried not to panic, and kept telling myself that I carried my baby with prayers through and through and I am sure that God will not dissappoint me!!! In my heart I was praying non stopping then, hoping that she will be wrong and my baby is alright! The opening was already 6cm by then. When Dr. Norleen came looking fresh from a shower, she locked my legs in position and asked me to start pushing. What is there to push? I couldn't feel anything!!! I tried anyway, but after a while, she decided to help me by vacuuming out Umair...in case he would suffocate staying in there for too long. I was already falling asleep by then, the drug was overtaking me. "Asilah..,fight the drug, jangan tidur...,you tak nak tengok baby keluar ker?"...and Alhamdulillah, a healthy Umair came out at exactly 10pm. He hardly cried. Maybe it was due to the epidural drug as well...Anyhow, he was bouncing and healthy..,that's all it matters..!!!
The date was 5th of June 2007...My dearest baby is finally here with me!!! Nizam, a brand new daddy now just couldn't stop smiling...!He has been taking pictures all these while, and suddenly when Umair came out, he had totally forgotten about the camera! Dr. Norleen put Umair on Mummy's tummy for a while before cleaning you up again. I thought you looked so purple, so slimy, so beautiful and so magical!!! I just couldn't wait to hold you in my arms, but i was absolutely drugged and sleepy...
The day you came
Time stood still
The day you came
I felt my heart fill
Love so pure
I never before felt
Love so warm
It made my heart melt
That little face
So sweet and small
The whole cute package
I loved it all..!
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