Looking at my baby sleeping next to his daddy now, I can't believe how fast he had grown...just another week to go before he is 9 months old! Weighing 8.5kg, and standing at 71cm tall, he is quite a young man!
I could still remember the day when Nizam came back and told me the news that we were going to Japan...we were on the way to dinner then, and at the restaurant, I can't help feeling so elated that I felt like jumping with joy!!!...and a week later, somehow, I felt funny....
It was early Ramadan'06 when we were back in Kota Bharu for the weekend to break fast with Mok and Ayah. Mok had requested to eat my cooking. At the time, I was already feeling unwell but I couldn't exactly pinpoint what, for no reason, I was feeling awfully tired and had no energy to even get excited about Japan anymore!!!( Nizam had insisted me to do meatballs for dinner).Being a good daughter in law, I dare not turn down her request and dissapoint my husband...so i went along with them. We were out grocery shopping at about 11am, and by the time we got home, it was already afternoon. After saying my zohor prayers, I headed to the kitchen right away and started cooking....until I got to the last part when i was preparing the gravy, i felt like my head was about to drop into the pot!!! And just looking at the ladle stirring, made me feel like vomitting! I didn't think of anything unusual then...,that maybe I was just really tired and sick..!
It wasn't until we were back in Shah Alam three days later, that I felt really strange...like i was falling sick, but I was not... kind of thing...That was when I suspected that I was pregnant! We got a pregnancy test kit from the Guardian pharmacy just down the road from our place... and the result was positive!!! That took us by surprised!!! In fact, we were quite shocked...that we are having a little fella coming with us to Japan!!! Nizam held me tight when I first showed him the results...by the time, I was already in tears then...I don't know why, but it was a strange feeling knowing that I'm having someone growing inside me...it was a mixture of joy, scarred, worried, surprised...and secretly pleased!!! I made Nizam not to tell anyone until I was trully ready. Maybe, I just wanted to keep it a secret first, so that I could get connected and develop a bond with my baby before I want to share him/her with everyone. I needed time to get used to the idea of being pregnant. Nizam was okay with that...Maybe he needed time too...
Funny, but that was the time when I started to noticed mothers walking around with their kids...not that I never saw them before, but this time, it was really different!!! Everywhere I went, I tend to look at them...Mothers holding their child in the arms, holding hands, or just tending to the little ones. It never used to be a big deal to me...but that was really different! Also..,i began to noticed how cute tiny little clothes do look like!!! With that kind of thoughts, I was positively pregnant then no doubt! Anyway, just to double confirm, we did go to the clinic for another pregnancy test and to choose a gynea. Then, deep inside, I was already excited that I was going to be a Mummy!!! Still, I needed time, and it was especially nice to have this really really special secret growing inside me without anyone knowing but us..!!!
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